Having received a new credit card, I thought I’d update a few of my direct billers before they chased me. I logged into My Vodafone and saw this helpful message.

See what that says? “through a web browser” – I was already using one, so it’s looking good at this point. I clicked the red button and it went downhill from here.

My browser offers this modal:

“SMS me link” and “Email me link”? Where did they learn English? There is space to jam in an article. I provided my mobile number and received a link to click. That logged me into the mobile version of My Vodafone.

I noticed that my street address was out of date, so I changed it. Then I decided to change my billing address, as it is a PO Box. We have received all mail at that box for 40+ years. No luck.

The geniuses at Vodafone have decided that the billing address in their system cannot be a PO Box, even if that is indeed your billing address. Credit cards use that as one way to authenticate a card. Nope. If you choose the option to enter a separate billing address, you need to provide a house number, followed by a street name and then street type. No exceptions. So, I had to lie and claim that my billing address is the same as my home address.

I went back to the website to look for help and got this badly proof-read message:

Vodafone Australia is telling me that logging in is now “more secure” and I no longer need a username or password. I tried again with the other option to send me a link by email.

Success, almost. Yes, the link in the email took me to the desktop web interface without a password.

So, at this point, I have forgiven Vodafone for their poor English. Maybe it is trendy English in Sydney, or Brisbane, but I too work in a web dev environment along with UX people every day and we try to stick to boring, grammatical forms. OK, let’s try to change my billing address.

No luck. The desktop form is the same and I cannot supply a PO Box, (what with being a responsive site, same code base and all that).

Somewhere in the earlier steps, I found the help text about accessing with a web browser.

Quite condescendingly, Vodafone Australia is telling me what is “best”. It says I can access My Vodafone “on other devices” through a “web browser”? Yes, the SMS link opens Safari on my iPhone – that is a web browser. They could have made the link open in an app, if installed – which I have on my phone. Never mind.

What about THIS device I am on? I am reading this on a desktop web browser, not a mobile app or a mobile web browser. So, they tease me there, hinting at this possibility. They don’t say “desktop”, but my phone also has a web browser. Why won’t they say “desktop” and that the secret is to ask for the link by email?

Accessibility

Now to get a little more serious. I see this largely as an accessibility issue and not semantics. I am 69 and probably better off playing lawn bowls, or whatever those grey nomads do. I have only one usable eye, so I have empathy with the visually impaired. If I want to use a desktop for my interactions, don’t decide what is “best” for me, then make me spend ages trying to find the secret entrance. I spent many volunteer hours at the Melbourne PC User Group for 25+ years helping older people navigate websites. Many of those people might have given up with this Vodafone desktop web login.

The other oddity is that even though I have chosen email billing and direct debit, what is the point of asking for a billing address? I provided my home address. In the end, I found that both credit cards and debit cards attract a small fee, so I switched to the bank debit option.

A few weeks ago, I helped my sister-in-law with a similar issue at Optus, where she has a landline. She is legally blind in both eyes, so does not own a mobile phone and does not have a computer, therefore, no email address. She gets paper bills and had missed one in the post. I thought that she could perhaps open a My Optus account with her sister’s email address and we could set up direct debit with her bank. No siree. Without a mobile phone, Optus will not let you have an online account. Without an online account, you cannot provide an email address. The customer service people told us it is all about “security”. Really? would someone hack into her account to pay her bills for her?

They told us to go to a store. We did that – quite a chore, as the lady in question uses a walker and has health issues. All sorted in person in less than 5 minutes.

Lack of Friction

My friend Roger Dooley in the US is known for a few good books that are relevant to us in the web economy. “Brainfluence: 100 Ways to Persuade and Convince Consumers with Neuromarketing” and now “FRICTION—The Untapped Force That Can Be Your Most Powerful Advantage”. Reducing friction in customer interactions is a simple concept. When customers want to pay you, make it easy.